


Lessons in Letting Go

by gvrdunce



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Knight Leon, M/M, Panic Attacks, Plot Twists, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, he's just going through a lot right now, leon's a sad boy basically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gvrdunce/pseuds/gvrdunce
Summary: Dragons were born from tales that the elder told the young to keep them in line. There was no way that the fire-breathing, hateful, murderous monsters actually existed, right? Right.∘∘∘Leon doesn't know how to cope with his grief over Raihan's loss and now he has to slay a Dragon on top of that.
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be funny and lighthearted, before I realised that I live and breathe angst and that fluff has never been my forté. Oh well!
> 
> Also: this is my first time posting on AO3 and using the tag system. I think I tagged all the big themes without spoiling the story, but please tell me if I missed something!
> 
> (Obligatory English is not my first language and I don't have a beta-reader)

When Leon first heard the whispers of a Dragon around the old Hammerlocke castle, he had frowned. There hadn’t been any Dragon sightings in centuries, many had grown to think of them as myths. Dragons were born from tales that the elder told the young to keep them in line. They were monsters from bedtime stories and disciplinary tales, only to serve as a foil for the hero. There was absolutely no way a giant monster could suddenly pop up in the desolated ghost town without anyone seeing it.

People had laughed at first, dismissing the rumours and blaming it on the overgrown ravens that populated the area. They were known to attack in groups and to scavenge tragedies for food. The manmade walls of Hammerlocke, although in ruin, protected them against natural predators, leaving them to grow much, much larger than any average raven. The biggest recorded one was as tall as a grown man.

Naturally, as their populations grew, so did the stories around them. They would terrorise anyone who came too close to their territory, always quick to tear them to pieces. It was even said that they would attack small children and as a kid, Leon had been terrified of them - only to learn later in life that those giant murderous killer crows were the exception and not the rule. 

The ravens seemed like a decent enough of an explanation to those who were familiar with the mischievous creatures. The ‘rational’ would, in turn, assure the more sensitive that it was all just crazy talk from a madman. (The nagging feeling in Leon’s gut at the time had told him otherwise though, leaving him with a perpetual grimace whenever someone would bring up the topic.)

Over time, more and more sightings poured in. Testimonies followed, people who would loudly exclaim to have seen the Dragon flying high in the sky, not afraid of the backlash they could face because it was real and they had seen it and people needed to stop fucking around.

Suddenly, it was the talk of every town. You couldn’t walk into a tavern or inn without hearing the mention of the Dragon. People started to hear it, smell it, feel its eerie presence. Some drunkards even exclaimed that they’d been nearly killed by it, hoping it would spare them from the angry wrath of their wives. 

After a while, hunters and knights and even squires with something to prove started to march up to the old ruins, because the stories dictated that a Dragon, no matter how big or scary or monstrous, would be slain by the hand of a brave young hero. Few of them would return, frightened and scared, telling stories of the monster that was settling in the stone walls and the scorched lands surrounding it. Some never came back at all, killed by the harsh weather surrounding the old settlement or eaten by the monster itself. Their corpses were ravaged by the murderous killer crows that protected their breached territory. None of them would get a proper burial, leaving the families devastated as they prayed to their gods to let their souls find peace. 

Animals went missing. Sheep, goats, cattle, pigs and even some horses - the Dragon did not seem to be picky - they would all vanish into the night. People were losing their loved ones, their animals, their livelihood and on top of that, people were starting to lose their sanity.

By then, the complaints and horror stories were quick to reach the Archduke up in the capital city of Wyndon.

When it became clear that yes, there was most likely an enormous Dragon settling into the old Hammerlocke castle, and yes, it was most likely stealing and devouring all nearby livestock and some unlucky stranglers, and no, no one seemed to be able to defeat or even harm said Dragon, no matter how honourable and heroic they appeared, that’s when Leon got called in by the distraught Archduke. 

Being the undefeated Champion had its benefits; being called in to slay an angry, nesting Dragon wasn’t one of them.

Not when Leon was finally ready to return to his sleepy hometown, to his family, in the hope to find some closure after the agonisingly painful year he had. The year had already been filled with too much monster hunting, too much duelling with pent-up vigilantes that were out to kill him, too much things he needed to do to fulfil his Champion duties. There had been too many fights, too many close calls and already too much loss when he got word from the Archduke.

Leon was a bright young man, charming as he was strong, handsome as he was smart. Gorgeous lavender locks that any woman would die for, eyes like molten gold and a smile to die for. He would light up the whole room whenever he walked in. He would woo women, simply looking at them, flashing one of those dazzling smiles. Over the years, he had grown into his title and his duties. He had loved the thrill of fighting and duelling, going toe to toe with equals and the constant challengers, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as if it was nothing.

Even after the incident, Leon had continued his duties like he wasn’t weighed down by the grief and anger, as if the loneliness and guilt didn’t swirl around in his stomach, adding to the constant nausea he felt. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t do anything by himself. Everything would remind the undefeated Champion of him, no matter how hard he tried to forget. His light dimmed. Shadows grew deeper and darker, slowly trying to claim the undefeated Champion for theirselves. Leon started to see the ugliness in the once oh so beautiful Galar and the sight left a better taste in his mouth. 

He had fought monsters before, sea serpents, gorgons, rogue fae, you name it. He had gotten used to it, seeing as the Archduke always came to him in these moments of need, always expected him to follow. 

He had loved it once upon a time, before he was truly alone, before he lost his best friends who had always been by his side before the incident. The pair would always find ways to prolong their travels, skipping out on taverns so they could camp out in the vast wilderness. Quiet nights were spent together, eating and laughing. They would gaze at the stars above until the early mornings and Leon would listen as his companion pointed out the different constellations that adorned the deep navy skies. He had loved those moments, cherished every second of them, even if his stories were always the same. 

Now, Leon made sure to keep his travels as short as humanly possible. He avoided the wilderness they once shared and adored, settling instead for cosy inns with homemade food and warmed beds that mimicked the feel of a home to so many travellers. It didn’t do anything against the aching loneliness in his chest or the seeded anger in his bones, but it was better than being out there.

_Alone._

It wasn’t just the loneliness from losing his best friend, his beloved companion, that fuelled his anger and frustration with the higher ups. 

Leon had grown sick of the games and politics that the life in court offered him. The Dukes and Duchesses only cared about their palaces and their bloodlines and how big their fortunes were, forgetting that they were supposed to protect their people. It had taken weeks before word of the Dragon had reached the first Barons and Dukes, months before the Archduke was pulled into the mess. And as always, Leon would be the one cleaning up for the stuck up royals playing pretend. 

So, instead of telling the Archduke and his snooty advisor where they could shove it, like a sane person, Leon gracefully accepted with his champion smile as he inwardly cursed out everyone and everything in his surroundings. 

He had always been too blind to see, too caught up in winning duels and titles, too infatuated with the glory, the crowds. Leon had thrived in it for so long, revelling in the attention. He had always laughed away his friend’s worries, but after his disappearance, Leon started to see the cracks as well. By then, it all felt hollow and dull and after a while, he finally realised it hadn’t meant anything. 

Over the last year, Leon started to miss his old friends and family more and more. He missed his sleepy town, herding sheep near his house and helping out on the family farm. He missed his little brother, the slow mornings and helping his mother around the house. 

A dull ache would spread in his chest, squeezing his lungs whenever his thoughts drifted to home, to his family, to his late beloved. It would settle in his stomach, pulling, squeezing until he couldn’t breathe. It only intensified when Leon got word of his new mission, right when he was supposed to ride down south, to Postwick. 

The fact that the entire fucking nation was seemingly content with sacrificing their oh so beloved Champion to the angry, nesting Dragon, didn’t really do anything to dim the bitter flames of anger. They were sending him out to die and no one cared. (Just like he had on that fateful summer morning.)

Even with Leon’s skill, experience and his incredible luck so far - let’s be honest - he wasn’t liking his chances of survival. The fury and the sadness, the longing for his family and the hardships of past year, they all mixed into a tight ball of frustration in his chest, swelling every time he thought of home or his little brother in Postwick.

(His little brother who had known him almost as well as Leon did. Who had looked up to him like Leon had, who had loved him like another brother. The throbbing heartache only intensified with those thoughts, almost sending Leon into another fit of angry panic and hurt. But he couldn’t surrender himself to those feelings, he had to stay strong, he had to go on. He couldn’t let anyone else suffer from his own mistakes.)

Leon ended up writing several letters to his family before he left. Explaining his motivations, apologising for the possible outcomes and making clear that he would leave everything in their name if anything was to happen to him. He dated and sealed the parchments, sending them away from the court with his trusted squire, Victor, in case someone decided to mess with him. He hadn’t always been this paranoid, not before the incident, before losing his best friend, his secret lover, his-

He had to stay levelheaded. He couldn’t let panic and paranoia cloud his thoughts when he was about to fight a literal Dragon. It was time to focus, no more thinking of what was or what could have been. 

Some part of Leon, the incredible naive and childish part that had once believed in the glitter and glamour of the courts and Wyndon, still hoped that the people were wrong. Maybe the ravens had grown even bigger, hunting together as a group, flying in a Dragon-shaped formations to terrify the locals. They were very smart creatures, Leon wouldn’t be that surprised honestly. Thieves could be accounted for the missing and stolen cattle, inexperienced hunters and knights could easily get themselves killed in the harsh weather conditions around Hammerlocke. It was why the place got abandoned in the first place. Sandstorms, suddenly drops in temperature, it had made the place inhabitable. 

(Leon didn’t want to think about the way they used to camp around the area before everything went to shit, before Leon was left alone, before the aching loneliness settled in his chest.)

He took the two days to collect all the supplies he needed for his journey. The people thought Leon had gone mental when he choose to forgo his usual weaponry to save space and redundant weight, only picking his sword and his trusty dagger. They didn’t understand the unforgiving nature of the elements or how fickle Mother Nature was outside of the safety of their hometown. Leon didn’t resent them for it. Years of camping, travelling and exposure to the elements had taught Leon that food and shelter would always be a top priority, especially around the woods and the desert.

He had packed enough food for two weeks, three if he rationed everything out well enough, just in case. He was willing to give up the precious space in his rucksack if it meant that he could have the little bit of extra time. 

He had even taken out the dark blue cloak that was hidden in the back of his closet, swallowing the heartbreak as the smell of sandstorms, bonfires and spices hit him, mixed with a scent that was still inexplicably Raihan after all this time. God, _Raihan_.

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

_Soft laughter, lazy smiles, those stunning cyan eyes taking him in. Gentle touches, stollen kisses, calloused hands gliding over his sides to trace the scars and bruises that decorated Leon’s body. Skin against skin. The gentle crackling of the bonfire, shadows dancing around their camp, the steady beat of their hearts against their chests. The soft glow of the flames painted everything in warm oranges and yellows against the deep blue skies. Lips on lips, teeth scraping against his jaw, the hoarse whisper of ‘I love you’ in his ear._

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

Leon had to blink the tears away, shoving the dark cloak in his bag. He couldn’t do this right now. He had to get a move on. Heartache and mourning weren’t gonna get him anywhere. Especially not when he was gonna face off with a Dragon. A fucking Dragon. And once again, he had to do it on his own. Alone again.

_Fuck._

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘

Before he left, Leon made sure to visit the shrine so he could make a last minute offer to the gods, taking the time to calm down his nerves as he prayed. It was more out of habit than actual belief, it had done nothing to save his beloved back then, his inner voice helpfully contributed.

The Archduke had made a big spectacle of seeing him off, pulling out a shiny new cape and wrapping Leon up in the heavy and expensive fabric. The cloth was soft and thick, lined with a luxurious fur. The Archduke had even made a show of putting it on, letting the heavy blood-red fabric settle around his shoulder. It had been heavier than previous capes, not practical for actual travel, but the weight felt surprisingly comfortable around his shoulders. 

“Only the best for our dearest Champion,” the Archduke smiled widely at his dramatic movements, but the warmth did not reach his steel grey eyes. They remained as cold and serious as always because he knew what Galar’s most esteemed knight was getting himself into, “Let us pray that you will return to us safely,” he boasted as the gathered crowd listened breathlessly, “let us pray that you will slay that wretched Dragon, revenge our fallen brothers and sisters so that we can finally live in peace once again!” 

People roared as Leon mounted his horse with his supplies, the Archduke theatrical speech only spurring them on. They cheered him on as he rode out of Wyndon, crying and screaming when he passed them to save their sorry arses. His ears started to ring by the time he finally reached the Southern gate. The empty feeling never left his chest. 

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘

Leon managed to reach the desert after only five days of riding with his trusty steed. He had kept their breaks as short as possible, as to not waste unnecessary time while simultaneously not overworking his horse. 

His stallion, playfully named Char because of his warm orangey tan coat, nudged his shoulder when he unmounted him for the final time. 

“I know buddy,” Leon smiled softly as he gently petted the stallion, “but it’ll be too dangerous out there for you.” he added softly as the horse whickered in reply. Leon laughed softly as he made sure to give his old friend some extra pats. 

“I’ll try my best to come back, okay? And then we’ll visit home and we’ll pretend that I’m not aware that Hop is secretly feeding you sweets when I’m not looking.” he promised with a fond smile. Char barely had a chance to snort before a young boy emerged from the wood, one too familiar to accidentally appear. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Victor heaved as he tried to catch his breath, cheeks tinted with bright red and brown bangs sticking to his forehead with sweat. “I ran into some trouble and-”

“What are you doing here?” Leon interrupted the flustered boy in a stern voice, easily falling back into his Champion role. “You are supposed to be on your way to Postwick. Did you lose the letters?” His brows knitted together in worry as he felt his own anxiety bubble up in his throat. Victor, finally having caught his breath, laughed at that, oblivious to the dark thoughts that swarmed the Champion's head. “I have the letter, no worries, Lee.” He beamed, slipping the bag off his shoulder. It seemed too big for the frail boy, but Leon knew better than to underestimate his squire. “I got you some extra rations, even brought some extra water bags as well.” He offered as he started to unpack. Leon’s heart swelled at how much the young boy reminded him of his little brother.

Victor had been by his side for a few years now, training with him to become a knight himself. Leon had loved teaching the younger how to duel, how to handle different swords and their subtle differences. Victor was quiet and shy, but he was eager to learn and he showed promise from their very first session. Leon had no doubt that the younger boy would take his title from him one day.

“I wanted to make sure you’d be okay out there,” Victor’s spoke softly, carefully patting Char’s flank as he avoided eye contact. “I know you want to do this alone, but, you know you don’t have to right?” 

He couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing the young boy again. He wasn’t ready to brace the desert on his own, but he also wasn’t ready for the possible death of his favourite and most trusted squire. The swelling turned painful again, Leon tried his best to keep smiling. He wouldn’t risk Victor’s life, he wouldn’t be responsible for more innocent casualties. Even if his reasoning was selfish, even if it meant that he would put this burden on his own loved one, he wouldn’t deal with another death. 

“I know,” Leon smiled, like he had always been taught, the aching unbearable when he realised that Victor was like a little brother to him. He wanted to see the boy succeed, see him win and grow up into a knight worthy of the Champion title himself, even if it meant that Leon would lose this life he had built for himself. “Should this be the last time we meet, I want you to know that-“

“Don’t talk like that,” Victor interrupted him before he could finish the thought, “you’ll be back next week,” he followed up fiercely, with a burning passion in his brown eyes, “you still have to teach me how to handle a longbow, remember?” He was quickly embraced by the young squire as his voice was muffled by Leon’s chest.

Leon didn’t understand how his heartache and sadness melted so well with his fondness for the boy. He felt like he was gonna burst as he hugged Victor back, utter joy and despair mixing together, swirling around in his stomach to play on his nausea. 

“Of course,” he said. They both pretended that they didn’t the strain on his voice, “how could I forget?” Leon choked back the tears as he tried to stay lighthearted, a smile splitting his face. 

“Galar needs you, Lee. I need you,” When he looked down, he saw the unshed tears in Victors eyes. The soft whicker from Char grounded the two.

Leon pulled away. 

“I have far too much to teach you, kid,” he smiled sadly, pulling the younger’s woollen hat over his eyes. “Don’t skip out on your training in Postwick, okay? I’ll know. You can use Hop as a sparring partner, he's relentless.” His smile faltered when the youngster looked back up again. “You’ll like him, I think,” he added, rubbing the tears away. “But. Whatever happens, just know that, I’m really proud of how far you’ve come, okay?”

Leon embraced the younger once again, holding him close as he choked back his sadness for the younger to see. “Be careful, I can't lose you too. Look after my mum and keep Hop in line, okay?” He knew that he was rambling, that he was saying too much, but he couldn't stop himself anymore. "I'll miss you, I'll see you soon, little one." he smiled again after the empty promise, giving him one final look. "Thank you, Vic.”

He could only hope that Victor wouldn't blame himself for Leon's eventual demise. 

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘

Leon was shit with directions, always had been. But it had somehow worsened ever since the incident. 

The desert had always been tricky for him. The rolling sand hills blending together, little groups of seemingly dead foliage and random rock formations, it all looked the same to him. He would go in endless circles until Raihan would break down laughing, finally offering his mercy as he grabbed the Champion’s hand and pulled him into the right directions. His friend, his lover, had always known which way to go. 

Ravens were glaring at him from up above, probably annoyed that yet another human dared to trespass the barren lands. Leon pretended not to notice them, he had gotten good at ignoring things over the years, especially when they were a sign of his inevitable doom. He even managed to find comfort in their company when he realised that, as long as they going to be around, Leon was going in the right direction. 

He also realised that he shouldn’t have gone off on his own like this. But he still couldn’t bear the thought of leading sweet young Victor to his death. Victor, who hadn't even experienced love and heartbreak, the bright eyed boy that was still so full with hope, that still shone so bright with life.

It was selfish, he knew, taking on this martyr roll. Cowardly too. He could only imagine the disapproving scowl on his lover’s face, the indignant tone of his voice. Raihan would have hated this, he would have hated Leon for even considering this.

 _He will hate you when you come to him, after this,_ the rational voice in his head reminded him. H _e will see you weren’t the man you claim to be, that you were just as weak and corrupt as everything he fought against. He won’t take you back if you do this_ , it told Leon.

Sand stuck to his cheeks as the winds swept around him, blowing the little particles in his face and hair. His stomach ached again as he wrapped the navy cloak tighter around him, quietly regretting that he hadn’t brought a bandana to protect his airways. 

The sandy winds swept all around him now, only worsening. They bit and cut into his skin. He needed to find shelter, now. (Leon pretended that that voice didn’t sound like his lost lover’s as he hurried to the nearest rock formations.)

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

_Huddled together under Raihan’s cloak, the intoxicating smell of sand and sweat and something that was inexplicably his lover’s filling his head as the sandstorm raged around them. He was seated in his lap, face hidden in the crook of his neck as Raihan held him close. Squinting through dark lashes he dared to look up, only to find those bright blue eyes staring right back at him, sparkling with love and awe. He looked so at home here, so unbothered by nature and her vices. Lips curved into a grin, Leon couldn’t help but to lean in further. Always reaching, always longing. “So pretty,” a purr, chapped lips against his own. Leon wouldn’t have it any other way._

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

The desert was a lonely place, Leon had never noticed it before. Now, as he looked up to the stars from under the thick cape, it was more obvious than ever before. The desert they had shared so much once, was ice cold. Endless seas of sand surrounded him as the ravens cawed their taunts into the night. Sand stuck to his tearstained face, a quiet sob left his throat when his head was yet again filled with thoughts of Raihan.

Raihan had been a Rogue. Twisted morals, ruggedly handsome looks and a hellbent fiery passion to make things right - whatever that meant. He was ferocious in his battles, never afraid to play dirty or to bend the rules if it meant that he could secure a victory and he always managed to push Leon in ways no one else could. He was the only one that even came close to taking his title away from him. They were polar opposites but they fit so well together. 

Leon’s, being Galar’s most cherished knight, the beloved Champion, and Raihan, ruthless and crude, always with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. 

Raihan had a tendency to get the both of them into trouble with the higher ups. As teens, they would get scolded until Leon got dragged away by the Archduke to set things straight again, because Leon was supposed to know better. Raihan would cuss the man out in front of everyone to hear and see, just to spite him. 

Outside of battle, Raihan was gentle and kind. Always looking after others, always sharing whatever he could miss. (Occasionally stealing from those who were well off so he could help those in need.) It was in stark contrast with his battle style, but it only made Leon love him more.

They were best friends, partners, soulmates if you asked them. The tall man had been Leon's whole world. They would travel together, share their tents and beds in the privacy of the wilderness. Raihan had been a survival expert, always so resourceful and prepared for the worst, always so willing to show Leon his ways. Then, in the quiet moments, he would draw and tell Leon about his past, his hopes and dreams and his future, their future. Together. 

The Champion wouldn’t have made it this far in life if it hadn’t been for the handsome Rogue that used to accompany him everywhere he went. He would have passed out from exhaustion or malnourishment hadn't Raihan been by his side. He had learned how to take care of himself, so he could serve Galar better. 

It hurt.

Not having his best friend, his partner, his everything by his side.

It hurt so _fucking_ much. 

The aching loneliness settled in his chest as he quietly cried himself to sleep, almost happy that no one would see how weak and fragile Galar's Champion truly was. The ravens kept taunting them with their calls as Leon slipped into his unconscious. 

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘

Some part of him was glad that he didn’t had to go back to Postwick, Leon realised after spending a few days in the desert.

He was staring at the ravens that were circling in the sky above his head when the realisation hit him, gazing through his fingers to shield his eyes from the harsh sunlight. A part of him wondered how long it would take until the ravens would lose their patience with him and just sweep down and kill him themselves. He was sure he wouldn’t be the first. Even from down here he could see the sharp glint of their talons, the eagerness in their movements. 

It should have been an unsettling sight, but he didn’t really mind it. Not when the guilt was eating him up inside, slowly devouring his rationality and sanity. 

Leon missed his family and the quiet peacefulness his hometown offered. He always felt more relaxed in his childhood home, surrounded by the green hills and the happy bleating of sheep. It was so different from Wyndon, it always managed to ground him. 

He still remembered the first time he took Raihan, how much his family had adored the lanky teen back then. It had been one of the first times Leon got to teach Raihan something instead of the other way around. He had fitted in so well, looking after Hop as if they were family, helping Leon’s mum with cooking and charming everyone’s socks off while he was at it. After that, Raihan would always join him on his annual visits, with his mum sending the pair knowing looks. They never had to tell her.

Leon now realised that he wasn’t sure if he could bear the sight of Postwick after the incident, too scared of the memories and their lingering effects on him. Leon couldn’t ruin his hometown like that. He couldn't lose his childhood like he lost Raihan. 

The Champion breathed out slowly as he closed his eyes, trying his best to remain calm. The sun was high in the sky, mercilessly burning down on him. The air heavy, the heat unbearable. Dirt and sand clung to his clothes, rubbing and chafing against his tan skin. His eyes were red and burning from unshed tears and he could feel the aching loneliness slowly wrapping around his chest, squeezing the air out of his lungs.

He was so tired. So fucking tired.

How long had he been out here? A few days? A week? Leon knew his rations were running low. He must have gotten lost again, like an idiot. He was so useless, such a hopeless fool to even think he would be able to reach the Hammerlocke castle alive. He probably deserved it though, after Raihan’s demise. Some part of him wondered if Leon had gone insane. Or could this be his fate? To starve in the desert, eaten by the ravens he once feared as a little boy?

It was hard to get a grip when he was slowly unraveling, his self-loathing and grief taking over now that he was alone.

_Truly alone._

He hadn't been alone in years. Even after Raihan's death, there were always people around to check in with him. To make sure he wouldn't do anything stupid or reckless, to make sure that he would be okay. But now there was no one to argue against the ingrained pessimism, no one to challenge his regrets, no one who would understand how much Leon was truly hurting. 

Why hadn't he been brave enough to tell people of the true nature of their relationship? Why had he been so scared of their reactions? Leon was the Champion for God's sake, he never lost a duel in his life. He could have taken anyone that wanted to do them harm. With Raihan by his side, Raihan, the strong cheeky vigilante that couldn’t seem to die back then, Leon had been invincible. 

Raihan had begged him to go public, to tell someone, anyone. It was the one thing they ever fought about. But with Leon being too stubborn and stuck in his ways to see that no one could touch them, they never did. He always managed to make up for it behind closed doors, cherishing his handsome rogue and telling him how beautiful he was until his dark skin turned red.

Leon still wished he could have done more. The simply 'I love you's felt empty now and the Champion was left wondering if Raihan had truly known how far Leon was willing to go for him. Wether Raihan had resented him for keeping their secret...

Leon was snapped out of his spiral by a peck on his hand, tearing up the dry skin. When he looked up, he was faced with an enormous black raven, its feathers shifting under the harsh sunlight, scattering the light in the sand surrounding them. It cawed harshly in his face, screeching in his ears when he didn't react.

He was nailed to the ground as he faced the monstrous bird that almost seemed to glare at him, rather impatiently. Was this it? Had Leon run out of time? Had the ravens finally grown bored with watching their prey hopelessly run around the dunes?

Another peck on his other hand, blood slowly dripped down from his fingers tips, falling ungracefully in the sand below. His brain didn't seem to register the wounds yet as Leon felt his body going numb. He needed to do something. Run, fight, anything to delay the inevitable. His mind was screaming. 

_You need to do something, anything._

His stomach dropped as he still found himself unable to move. He was gonna die here. Alone. Always alone. Fuck, why was he so rubbish when he's alone?

_Please. Move, go, now! Now!_

Raihan would have known what to do. He always had. Some part of Leon was convinced that Raihan would have been able to solve this whole mess with just his smile. Fuck, his smile. Raihan's gorgeous smile always had the ability to melt all of Leon's problems away. Together, they could have done anything. 

_Leon, not the time for self-pity. Fight. Do something, anything. Please._

When the raven went to peck at his hands again, Leon managed to regain some mobility. He was quick to pull out his sword from his hip, blocking the pointed beak before it could nip at his skin for a third time. He let out the breath he was holding, arms shaking as he held onto the sword, pushing the bird away. 

The raven shot him something that could only be described as a bored and unimpressed look as it cawed in his face again, more annoyed than the first time. It blocked his next swing with one of its wings, the blade of his sword just, bouncing off the blackened feathers, the sound of metal on metal filling the air. Leon tried his best not to burst out laughing when he noticed. Yeah, he was definitely losing his mind. But what else was new? 

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

_Hushed whispers, calloused fingers brushing his hair out of his face. Leon tried to get hold of the figure above him, still dazed from his slumber. A soft, throaty laugh followed as his partner had to pry his fingers from the dark cloak, again. "Lee, baby, you gotta let go," he cooed, "I'll be right back, you won't even know that I was gone. I promise, love." His voice was like velvet, Leon could drown in it. A lazy smile spread around his lips, eyelashes grazing his cheeks as he kept his eyes closed._

_"No," he wanted to say, but it sounded more like a moan, "stay," he breathed out more clearly, voice still laced with sleep as he stared at the man through half-lidded eyes. He was met with an exasperated smile and cyan filled with adoration and love. Raihan was a sight for sore eyes, a gift from the gods themselves, even when it was too early to form coherent thoughts. Leon tightened his grip, relishing in the fact that no one else would have this, not with him. Raihan was Leon's, Leon was Raihan's and if it was up to him, that would never change._

_"I can't stay, baby, please. Just let go," Raihan refused to give in, voice still soft, sighing when stubborn hands kept gripping onto the navy fabric. He pulled off his cloak, spreading it over the sleepy Champion. Cyan eyes softened when the purple-haired nuzzled into the fabric, seemingly content. "I'll be right back," he promised, a smile that matched the loving gaze in his eyes, a soft peck on the top of his head. The murmur of his name on his lovers lips, a quiet 'I love you' in reply, as he stepped out of the tent, out of their own little world. "Always will," he murmured, casting a last glare to the safe haven they always shared, a final smile before he disappeared into the early morning._

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

The raven kept glaring at Leon, cawing every time it thought the young man lost his train of thought, pulling him back to reality with a peck on his arms whenever it deemed the screeching sounds 'insufficient'. It was rather obnoxious. Leon couldn't help but wonder if someone had the guts to train these murderous birds. 

"What do you want?" Leon swatted the bird with his sword again, still intrigued by the metal clanking whenever he made contact with the blackened feathers. His voice was hoarse, laced with sadness and fatigue. He hated how weak he sounded now he finally found some solace in the loneliness.

The bird just cawed back in annoyance, spreading its wings as it watched him. Leon wasn't bothered by the display of dominance in the least. His sword wouldn't deal any damage to the beast before him, but he was tired and done. He just wanted to find the castle, go to the Dragon and hopefully, just be devoured by it. His family was far away from the danger, they would be fine, he reckoned. 

"Hey, fuck off." Leon snapped when the bird pecked his arm, tearing the flash again. His torn up hands were already a bitch to deal with, he didn't want more wounds. The raven let out a serious of caws that sounded awfully close to a snicker. Leon just flung his sword again. He missed, the raven already having spread his wings and hovering above him in the air. Its taunts were infuriating. 

Caw. 

"Smug bastard." Leon tried his hardest to glare at the raven, but it ended up looking more like an angry squint due to the harsh sunlight. The bird was still left unbothered, calling out to him once again as it rose higher up into the sky, looking down expectantly. Oh how he wished he could murder the wretched thing. "Should've brought my arrows," He mumbled under his breath, turning away from the raven. He didn't have the time to stay here, to argue into the empty sky while pretending that the bird knew what he was going on about. 

Leon was on a mission and if he was lucky, he would finally be reunited with the love of his life in the sweet embrace of death. (If Raihan would have him and his cowardly thoughts, that was.)

The raven darted down once again, sand flying up around the two of them. He had to be quick to cover the open wounds on his arm, glaring at the bird that glared back with the same intensity. 

Caw. 

It turned his head around towards the direction Leon had come from, screeching again. His ears still rang with the deafening sound, so unlike the little crows that dotted the rolling hills around Postwick.

“Do you want me to follow you?” the Champion sighed, looking up. The bird cawed again in reply, he could only wonder wether it was affirmative or mocking. It would be a new low if it was the latter, that was for sure. “Fine, but if I find out you’re screwing me over, I’ll find a way to kill you with my sword.” A pointed look from the raven told him that he wouldn’t, Leon pretended not to pick up on it.

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘


	2. Two

Leon never liked waking up alone. It was too quiet, too cold. His mind would always spiral out of control in the early hours of the morning without anyone to distract him. He hated it, hated the fact that he had always been so lousy at something that everyone seemed to excel at.

It didn’t help that his other half, his soulmate, had seemingly perfected being alone from the beginning. He never understood how Raihan could deal with it so well, not when the peaceful quiet and awkward silences contrasted so much against his brazen smiles and generally loud personality. But just like Leon had thrived in the attention and the love that came with his title, Raihan had thrived in the shadows as his right hand man. People would notice him and remember him for his ridiculous height, but few would recognise him or call out him like they did to Leon. Even fewer recognised Raihan for his own accomplishments. 

It was ridiculous. Raihan had deserved the love and attention just as much as he did, probably even more if Leon was honest. Raihan had always risked his life for the people, dancing on the line between right and wrong, enduring the wrath of the nobles so no one else would suffer.

It had infuriated Leon to no end, his lover would watch him get worked up over nothing as he just laughed. Those nights always ended with Leon seated in Raihan’s lap, the latter playing with the long purple locks, massaging his scalp and whispering sweet nothings in his ear to calm him down. He was always so patient with Leon, so willing to let him rage in the privacy of their camps or rooms, always listening to whatever Leon had to say, even when Raihan himself was hurting.

His chest ached with loss again as he realised for the umpteenth time that that was gone. Raihan was gone, his soulmate, his best friend, his lover, taken from him by a cruel fate.

And now, Leon was on his way to meet his own.

Caw.

Leon sat up, the thick red cape falling from his shoulders as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. The garment, while not very practical for his journey, served as a perfect blanket during the freezing nights. The raven dug its claws into the red material that pooled around his chest. Leon could feel its talons scrape over his skin despite the several layers of cloth still covering him. The bird wasn’t using enough force to actual tear his clothing, just enough to remind the young man that it could, and most likely would, if given the chance. It served as a warning, a very effective one, and if Leon wasn’t already tired and angry and a general miserable mess, he would have complimented the raven for its menacing glare.

Just when said raven leaned down to peck at his hands, _again,_ Leon fully opened his eyes, shooting the animal a dirty look. “Don’t even dare, you prick,” he muttered as the bird let itself be pushed away from him.

He would never admit it, but it was nice to have the raven’s company, even when the little shithead was so keen on tearing his arms up. Leon felt less alone now he could just rant out loud and pretend the creature was listening to him. Talking always helped.

He wished he had talked more to his family though, his friends too. They all deserved better, but at the same time, Leon knew that he wouldn’t be able to give them what they wanted from him. He couldn’t play his part anymore, he was tired and lonely and done for. Leon hoped they would understand though, after time, that none of this was their fault. He hoped that they would be able to move on, unlike he had.

Once again, he realised that Raihan would have known what to do.

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

_Their camp was quiet when Leon woke up. Too quiet. There were no soft snores, no scratching of charcoal on paper, no clinking of pans or the gentle crack of a fire. It felt like the silence was swallowing him whole._

_Leon quickly rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he called for his lover. “Rai?” it came out as a croak, voice still heavy and hoarse with sleep, “Raihan? Love?” He tried again, shoving the blankets off him as he sat up. His weapons still laid atop his clothes, but the space next to the neatly folded pile was empty, meaning that Raihan was outside._

_Navy blue suddenly caught his eyes, puzzling him even more. Leon reached out to the smooth cloak, pulling it closer to him. His lover never left without it, he had it specially made to withstand all sort of weather conditions. It had cost a small fortune, it still made Leon wince whenever he thought about it, but ever since he got it, Raihan refused to part with it. So why was his treasured cape here of top of him?_

_Memories of the night before slowly came pouring in, shaking him awake. “Raihan?” Leon called out once again, more stern. It was too early to play these kind of pranks. “Mate, c’mon,” he sighed, quickly grabbing his own clothes, “I swear, I’m gonna kill you if you don’t answer me,” he threatened as he got dressed._

_The feeling of dread only intensified when he wasn’t met by a reply or a throaty laugh. His boyfriend knew how much he hated mornings, knew how much he hated being alone. He wouldn’t fuck around like this, wouldn’t toy with Leon’s emotions. Usually, Raihan would have come in by now so he could kiss him senseless and tell him off for scaring him._

_“Rai…?” His voice seemed to echo throughout their camp as Leon stepped out of the tent, sword ready on his hip, navy cloak in his hands. Last night’s fire was reduced to ashes and bits of blackened wood that hadn’t burnt fully, birds were happily chirping from the comfort of their hidden nests in the treetops. It would have been peaceful, if the worry wasn’t gnawing at his gut._

_“Raihan!” Leon called out once again, only louder and more desperate this time. He was only met by the echo of his own voice. Eyebrows knitted together in worry as he frantically started to look around for clues or hints or anything that would tell him where his lover went._

‘Lee, baby, you gotta let go,’

_He was nowhere in sight. There was no sign that Raihan had been with him at all, if it wasn’t for the navy cloak that he was holding onto for dear life. His knuckles slowly turned white at the tightening grip._

‘I’ll be right back, you won’t even know that I was gone,’

_It had been dark when Raihan had left, shadows dancing around the tent, the soft glow of the light, the fire was still burning when he had asked Leon to let go. Leon had no way to tell how many hours had passed since then. Tall trees and thick leafage made it impossible to get a glimpse of the sun or sky._

‘I can't stay, baby, please. Just let go,’

_Leon could still hear his laugh echoing in his head, soft and warm, only meant for the two of them. Raihan wouldn't have said those things if he hadn't planned on coming back. His lover was many things, but he was not a liar. Not when it came to these things, not to Leon._

_He blindly dashed through the woods before he could realise what he was doing, hoping to find something. Anything. He needed to help him, Raihan was probably in trouble, or worse. Leon tried his best to rid himself off those thoughts, not wanting to fall back on his negativity. Raihan wouldn't leave him. Not like this. …right?_

_Twigs snapped under his weight, branches slapped against his face as he hastily tried to push them away. His arms and legs were quickly covered in scratches and bruises and mud._

_Raihan’s words kept repeating in his mind. They blurred together, forming new sentences only to fall apart again._

‘You gotta let go, love, just let go,’

‘Let go.’

‘Let go.’

‘I love you.’

_Let go, love._

_Leon wept, the echo of Raihan’s voice ringing through his head._

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

The raven led him to the once so proud settlement of Hammerlocke in a surprisingly efficient way. It only took the unlikely pair two days, twenty-eight pecks and about a hundred screeches or so to get Leon where he was supposed to be. And even though his arms were sore and crusted with dried up blood, he was grateful that the raven showed him the way.

The lands around the old ruins were, indeed like the stories told, scorched. A layer of thin ashes painted the hills in black and whites, hints of golden yellows poking through where the grey blanket was disturbed by footprints. Bones were scattered around, covered in deep cuts and scratches that made Leon look away. He didn’t want to imagine what those poor souls were put through or whether they were derived from animals or humans. It was barren and cold and just an overall sign that he shouldn’t be here. _A true lair for a Dragon_ , he bitterly thought to himself.

An unsettling silence laid thick in the air. The raven didn’t even caw at Leon when it spread it wings, sending him one last glare before it flew up into the sky, away from the toppled city walls. He smiled softly as he watched the bird disappear into the sky, fading into a tiny black dot until his eyes couldn’t track it anymore. “Thank you,” he whispered softly, before turning to his final destination.

This was it.

His bag was heavy on his shoulders, the silence was deafening. Leon took a moment to collect himself, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, pushing thoughts of lost love and missed opportunities away. He needed to stay levelheaded, at least for now.

He tried his best to find comfort in the quiet and the loneliness that enveloped him again. He tried his best to embrace the eerie aura around of danger around the fallen castle. His entire body was screaming at him to get away, to flee. It was a natural reaction, even for a seasoned fighter like Leon.

But he had learned to lean into it, to give the worries a place so he could use it to his advantage. Raihan had taught him that fear was a good thing, that he shouldn’t be afraid of it. In battles, fear meant that he still had a chance, that there was still something left to save.

When he thought he had most of his nerves under control, he took his first step into the ashes. It gave away slightly, leaving an imprint of his boot behind. It was, unsurprisingly, a lot like sand, Leon realised. He could imagine Raihan at his side, laughing and marvelling at the dramatic flair the ashes brought to the landscape. He would have absolutely loved it.  
The Champion swallowed his grief for the last time and he made his way through the ashes.

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

_Soft arms wrapping around him, a hand soothingly patting his head, the lingering scent of roses and home cooked food filling his nostrils as his mum held him close. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay, calm down honey,” She whispered softly, desperately trying to ease her son’s hurting._

_Leon kept whispering things under his breath, whimpers and indecipherable sentences strung together with guilt and hurt. His vision was blurred with tears that wouldn’t stop coming, he kept failing to control his breathing, panting and sobbing into his mother’s shoulder._

_His knees had given out as soon as he stumbled out of the woods, crashing down into the mud, sticks and stones digging into the already raw and open skin._

_He hadn’t been able to find him. He failed him, he failed Raihan. He had failed the only one who mattered and there was nothing he could do now._

_Leon looked a mess, a tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. His hair was wilder than usual, sticking out into all different directions with leafs tangled through purple locks, his voice hoarse from all the crying and screaming._

_He was exhausted, but he couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t stop the constant gross sobbing. His guilt only intensified when his mum called for his little brother, desperation obvious in her voice. Leon had always been the strong one. He was the Champion, Galar’s most esteemed knight. He had fought and slaughtered the worst and most vile monsters, he had always carried the world on his shoulders like it was nothing. Leon didn’t cry, he didn’t have mental breakdowns, especially not in the open air where anyone could see._

A real Champion would have been able to find him, _an unhelpful voice contributed._

_Yet here he was, sobbing into his mother’s arms like a little boy, held up by his younger brother, heavily leaning onto the teen as his family brought him inside, unable to speak up as they exchanged worried glances._

_The tears never stopped coming, not even when they settled him around their little kitchen with a cup of tea in his hands. Hop soothingly rubbed his back as Leon collapsed on the table, hiding his face in his arms. He was such a dumb idiot, a useless friend. How could he let Raihan leave in the middle of the night? Why hadn’t he tried to go with him? Why couldn’t it have been him?  
“Lee,” Hop spoke quietly in a voice usually reserved for the shyer lambs around the farms, Leon felt pathetic when he realised it. His little brother was always so loud and cheerful, so much like… “where is Raihan?”_

_Leon clung to the navy fabric as he shook his head, sobbing replaced by choked gasps. Blurred tears were replaced by tiny black stars that dotted his vision as exhaustion took over. He could hear his mum gasp from afar, Hop’s disembodied voice floated through his subconscious before he blacked out._

∘∘∘ ☽ ∘∘∘

It was terrifyingly easy to sneak into the Dragon's lair. There were no obstructions, no traps, no sudden appearances of the fire spitting monster of hatred and spite as Leon walked through the city gates. It was unnerving, the complete silence coupled with the anti-climatic entrance. An icy chill ran down his spine.

Leon was on high alert as he looked around, his hand constantly hovering above the hilt of his sword. He found torn and burned pieces of fabric as he walked through the empty courtyard, broken pottery and shards of metal and glass. If it hadn’t been the constant looming threat of danger and the quiet rumble in the walls, he would have thought that this was all just a big joke. The settlement was empty as far as Leon could see.

Dragons were supposed to be giant, right? He surely should have spotted it by now, Leon thought to himself after wandering around for seemingly hours.

The setting sun painted the worn-down buildings and rubble in bright oranges and warm yellows as he sat down to look around. He could feel the Dragon’s presence all around him. Danger and longing pooling in his stomach as he tried to shrug off the feeling of being watched.

Leon took a deep breath as he looked around, taking in his surrounding. He could easily see how Hammerlocke would have been a bright and bustling city once if he looked past the decay, warm and inviting. It would have been similar to Wyndon, but more organic and less micromanaged by the nobles, Leon hoped with a smile as he let his imagination run wild for a little.

Eventually, his gaze fell upon one of the towers that sat high above the other buildings. The roof was torn off, but apart from that it looked surprisingly kept together - unlike the other parts of the city.

Leon gnawed at his lip.

It would be so reckless to climb it. He knew that. He could hear his mum scream at him from the back of his head. But he also knew that the tower would give him a unique vantage point over the city. Maybe he could spot the Dragon from up there and just be done with it all? The helpful voice in his head told him he could always jump if he didn’t. Leon pretended not to hear it.

This was a dumb idea, reckless too. Very fucking reckless, he realised. So reckless that it could have been one of Raihan’s ideas. Raihan always had a knack for getting them in trouble, just to catch a glimpse of a pretty view or just for the sake of it.

The sun was really starting to set now, the sky itself filling with the same warm yellows, slowly blending into orange. If he wanted to catch said pretty view, he should probably hurry. With a sigh, he pushed himself off the steps he was sitting on. It was time he moved on, time to stop procrastinating.

As Leon made his way to the tower, he left his bag by the entrance, figuring the weight would only slow him down. He only took the necessities as he started to ascend the spiralling staircase, the red cape trailing behind him. The added weight grounded him in a way. Underneath, Leon was still wearing the navy cloak, unable to part with this last part of Raihan that he had left. With every step he took, he felt the casing of his sword gently bouncing against his hip, a comfortable reminder that he wasn’t as vulnerable as he may have appeared.

While he made his way up, he let his thoughts wander off to his family. He wondered how his mum was doing, wether Hop had taken a liking to Victor and if they would make good sparring partners. Their personalities would compliment each other nicely, Victor could mellow his younger brother out and Hop could learn the squire to stand up for himself, instead of always fending for others. Leon couldn’t help but see two younger versions of Raihan and him in the teens. They would be a force to be reckoned with, if they ever got the chance. He hoped that the boys wouldn’t give his mum too much trouble though, but Vic was a good kid, he would help out where needed. Leon was sure of that.

He smiled when he saw the yellows and oranges turn into vibrants reds and pinks through one of the small windows he would pass every so often. The view was going to be amazing, the entire trip would be worth all that anguish if he could only get a glimpse.

He thought of Raihan as he made his way up, he couldn’t help it. The other had always been on his mind, ever since they met. His mind flashed back to the moments they shared in private, their constant bickering, Raihan’s lame jokes, his amazing drawings (that mostly consisted of sketches of Leon when he wasn’t looking) and the thrill of their duels.

Raihan had been his best friend, his lover, his soulmate. Leon was devastated when he disappeared. When they found bloodied pieces of his torn clothes together with Raihan’s swords, both of them bent in ways that were almost unimaginable, something in him broke. He had succumbed to a dark place in his mind.

The funeral they held for him was small and quiet, few words were spoken. There weren’t many people. Raihan didn’t have any family growing up and he never got involved with other people, except for Leon’s family and moody rogue that Leon never really got to know. Leon didn’t speak, not trusting himself to keep the true nature of their relationship hidden. He hated himself for keeping quiet. Raihan deserved more, he had deserved better than him.

The tight band around his chest seemed to loosen its grip with every step he took. The higher Leon climbed, the lighter he felt. It had been awhile since he felt like this.

The first tears slipped from his eyes before he even realised it, falling from his cheek and onto the cold stone steps in front of him. Out of the small window in front of him, he could see the blazing skies.Just a little longer.

His legs were aching when he finally reached the top of the tower, his breathing quick and shallow, but a smile spread around his lips none the less. Pinks, reds and purples ruled the sky, slowly blending into blues. Raihan would have killed for a view like this, he chuckled fondly.

Leon made his way over to the edge as he took in the sight. He sat down on the ledge, letting his legs dangle above the abyss. He was up way higher than he had originally planned, but he didn’t dare to look down yet, keeping his eyes focused on the sunset instead.

The Champion took the time to enjoy the last rays of light on his face. He basked in the little bit of heat left before the sun would go down entirely. The warmth slowly seeped out of the sky, reds and pinks giving way for gentle purples, deep navies and the usual evening chill. Leon had always loved the softness that the twilight hours offered, the gentle transition into the night. He used to stay up as a kid to watch the stars come out, one by one. It always felt magical to him, like a glimpse into another world. He would never grow sick of it.

Even when his world turned ugly and sour, he could always find beauty in nature.

Exhaustion slowly started to set in as the temperature began to drop. His sore muscles started to ache, the scratches and wounds on his arms started to burn, screaming for his attention. The journey was slowly showing its toll on his body. How long had it been since he left Wyndon? It felt like ages ago, but it was hard to recall the passing of time with how fuzzy his mind was lately. His eyelids felt heavy as his shoulders started to slump, a yawn left his lips.

He hadn’t found any real traces of a monster living within the ruins, just an empty place filled with sorrow and suggestions of happier days. He wouldn’t mind if this was his final resting place, it all felt very fitting.

Leon started to lean against the broken outer wall, eyes lidded as he tore his gaze away from the night sky. He found comfort in the quiet, high above everything else, far away from his responsibilities. Darkness loomed above him, skies filled with deep navy and twinkling stars.

He knew the quiet wouldn’t last though, so he took a deep breath, fighting the sudden urge to fall asleep. “C’mon,” he mumbled to himself, pushing himself to sit up straight. Another deep breath, eyes closed as he tilted his head down, head facing the abyss below.

He still hadn’t dared to look.

“C’mon. Do it,” he spoke again, louder, clearer this time. There was a slight echo to his voice. Leon’s throat felt dry when he tried to swallow. A light breeze played with his loose hair, lightly tugging onto the purple locks. It caught onto his cape, lifting the heavy fabric. “Let go, you coward,” Leon told himself harshly, ignoring how weak and unconvinced his voice sounded. There was only one thing left to do.

The wind tugged onto his cape, almost forcing him to lean back towards the tower, back to safety. It was pleasant breeze, surprisingly warm as well. Not at all like the freezing winds he had endured the previous nights in the desert.

A soft rumble from down below, the faint hint of sand and smoke lingered in the air.

Leon opened his eyes in shock as the realisation hit him.

… together with something that was inexplicably _him_.

He moved forward, forgetting for a moment that he was still perched on a ledge. The rumble became louder, a black shadow moved up from the abyss. Leon kept tumbling, hands helplessly reaching out to the stone tower to find some grip, slipping, missing, flailing,

_falling._

He hadn’t meant to let go. He hadn’t been ready to leave, not yet. Fuck.

Shadow surrounded him, a soft ‘thud’ as he made contact with something, earlier than expected, less painful than he imagined. A loud rumble all around him, followed by soft cooing as the air around him moved, the gentle warm breeze blew over his bruised body. The smell of sand and smoke intensified. 

Leon laid paralysed, eyes closed once again, lungs burning. He couldn’t catch his breath.

_Too much, too much, too much, too much._

He thought he had been ready to jump. He thought he had been ready to die. It had seemed so easy before, such a simple solution to such a messed up complicated problem. Just, lean forward, just, let go.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, reminding him that he was still here. He was still alive. He was going to be okay.

The air around him kept moving, the familiar smell seeded itself in his nose and brain, calming the man down as he tried his best to catch his breath. The shadow laid his trembling body back on the top of the tower, blessing him with the warm breeze once again. A chuff, followed by the same quiet cooing from earlier. Leon opened his eyes, revealing pools of honey to the shadowy beast in front him, only to be met with bright blue irises that almost seemed to glow in the dark.

For a second, Leon was convinced that he was falling again, but instead of the dark abyss below, he was falling through an azure sky that had been so familiar to him once. He laid there, frozen on the stones as he stared. Speechless. _Impossible_.

The beast, the feared Dragon, was in front of him. It was enormous, black scales covered its body, catching the faint moonlight and accentuating the sharp spikes on its back and protruding around its face. Sharp talons clung to the stone tower as it rested its head on the ledge where Leon had been seated only moments ago. Danger and death radiated from the Dragon’s aura, giving out a very clear menacing warning to all who found themselves unfortunate enough to be nearby.

If Leon hadn’t just fallen ten stories from a ledge, he would have sprinted.

When the beast noticed his stare, it bared his teeth at Leon. Razor sharp fangs caught the light as it focused its attention on the trembling young man in front it. A claw reached out to him, gently nudging his arm as another rumble left the Dragon’s throat. Leon could only stare at its eyes, pupils dilating and retracting as it focused on the hopeless excuse of a Champion in front of it.

Not an it, though, Leon thought.

Bitterness and grief and waves of anger from the past year swelled up in his chest, forming into a heavy weight in his chest. Tears burned in his eyes as they left wet trails all over his cheeks. He had never been great at dealing with emotions. He shoved it all inside, hidden from the world to see until everything came pouring out at once. This was one of those moments.

In a flash of pure hot seething rage, Leon pulled his sword out as he jumped into a standing position. His body screamed in pain as he lunged forward, channeling all his strength and might into his sword as he swung towards the Dragon, an angry scream filled the night. He couldn’t even recognise his own voice.

The sword ricocheted off the scales, barely even leaving a scratch as it bounced off into the abyss. Leon collapsed once again, draped over the claws. Gasping, sobbing, slowly breaking down, once again like the hopeless fool that he was.

The Dragon cooed softly, gently placing his head around Leon’s distressed figure, bright blue watching his every move. Leon was enveloped in that familiar scent, pure Raihan filling his head.

_“I’m so sorry.”_

He could almost hear his voice, the weak excuses. He wanted to scream and yell and try to hurt Raihan, if only so the other would know how much Leon had been hurting all this time. But he also wanted to hold onto him for dear life, talk together and beg the other to never leave again. To stay, forever, like they promised each other so many moons ago.

“I hate you,” Leon whimpered as he buried his head in the black scales, too tired to unpack what all of this meant. Bright blue filled with sorrow looked away from him, hiding the Dragon’s expression from the young man. 

_“I didn’t mean to take this long.”_ Raihan’s voice filled his head again. He sounded hoarser and more tired than Leon’s internalised Raihan that encouraged him to do dumb shit, _“I couldn’t find you, so I figured, if I stay put, you’ll eventually come to me, right?”_ The Dragon, Raihan, bared his teeth again when the man looked up, golden eyes wide with surprise. He realised now that it was supposed to be a smile, similar to the half-assed smirk he used to sport as a human.

“You- you’re… what? I don’t understand,”

 _“Sleep first, my love,”_ Raihan nudged him softly, noticing the drooping eyelids, the sluggish motions of his body, all the tell tale signs of Leon’s natural tendency to over-exhaust himself, _“we’ll talk tomorrow, I won’t go anywhere this time, promise.”_

For once, Leon was too tired to argue back that that’s exactly what he said last time. As he drifted off to sleep, he felt like he was floating, surrounded by glowing blues and purple sunsets.

∘∘∘ ⌲ ∘∘∘

When Leon woke up the next day, a part him hoped that the events from the previous nights had all been a dream. The near fall to his death, being saved by the rumoured murderous Dragon who happened to be his apparently-not-dead-boyfriend, the fact he and said boyfriend where telepathically linked somehow…

It was a lot to process, especially when one took in Leon’s lack of a sleeping schedule and his general mental state after Raihan’s ‘death’.  
The walls rumbled, a gentle purr warning him of the Dragon’s presence before something nudged his side. Leon opened his eyes, immediately met with the bright blue of his eyes. It was still so easy to drown in them, even now his pupils were slitted instead of round.

He was very aware that he should be freaked out by all of this, the giant monster looming over his drowsy body, the fact that something or someone had changed his lover into this, that Raihan had managed to piss said someone off so much, that they would do this to him. There was an endless list of things to worry about and an infinite amount of questions to ask, but right now, Leon couldn’t be bothered to waste his energy.

His draconic boyfriend nuzzled his snout in his side, deep voice immediately filling his head. _“Good morning love,”_ he greeted him.

“Get fucked, you overgrown lizard,” Leon pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn’t hide his stupid grin. It had been so long since he heard those words from Raihan, his heart had ached and longed for this for so long. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want to give in so easily but Leon was weak, especially when it came to a certain handsome Rogue.

The Dragon managed to guffaw somehow and, for a second, it was like they were back in their tents, teasing each other with playground insults and soft kisses. His laugh sounded so familiar, warm and inviting. But the deep rumble, the added growl made it sound so foreign at the same time. A reminder that this man wasn’t human, that there was still a lot to be discussed.

 _“Love you too, Lee,”_ Raihan simply answered. He was curled around Leon, carefully watching him for any signs of discomfort or uneasiness. His own motions slowed whenever his limbs came close to the human, gentle and cautious, to avoid any accidental injuries. The worry was apparent in his eyes, slits narrowing as he examined Leon. It shouldn’t have been so endearing to the man.

“What?” The other sighed, hiding his blushing face under his arm as he tried to turn away from the scrutinising glare. He didn’t want to talk about his feelings, he was okay with the heavy tension between them if it meant that certain things would be left unspoken, like his willingness to throw himself off a tower for example. Raihan didn’t need to know about that whole mess.

 _“You know that doesn’t work on me,”_ the deep voice filled his head again, drowning all the other thoughts out, it was nice. He could get used to this. Leon knew it wouldn’t last though, because he knew Raihan and he knew himself. They would have to find a way to turn him back to normal eventually. _“I’m worried about you, you know.”_

“Oh, are you now?” Leon couldn’t keep the venom from his voice, not when his lover had the guts to sound so accusatory. “Good. Then you’ll finally know what it feels like.” An undignified snort interrupted him, he just glared back at the black beast. He tried to ignore how Raihan’s scales seemed to shift in the light, glinting with deep navies and emeralds he had never seen before.

“Don’t get me started, Rai, because I won’t hesitate to slaughter you if you give me any reason to.”

 _“Really… with what sword? Because, personally, I would love to see you try,”_ The beast snorted. They would always fall back on their taunts whenever things got too weird or too awkward between them. It was a way to deal with their frustrations, to lash out without hurting the other too much. Leon didn’t know why he initiated it, or why Raihan still kept up with it after all these years. It soothed the ache in his chest nonetheless, a faint smile lingering on his lips. Some things just never changed, apparently.

“Fuck you.” It was a weak, half-arsed retort, he could have done better if he tried, if he had wanted to.

 _“When I’m in my own body again, gladly,”_ A chuff, that same deep rumbling, the whole castle seemed to tremble with the Dragon’s laughter. The both of them fell quiet as Leon moved to sit up, the navy cloak falling back into his lap, exposing tan skin where his loose tunic dangled off his shoulders. Neither of them dared to disturb the silence as they watched each other.

The young man took his time to inspect this new form, the notorious Dragon that managed to reduce most of Galar into a quivering frightened mess. Every aspect of the black scaled creature screamed danger, just like it had last night, but the more Leon looked, the more he saw the similarities to Raihan’s human form. The long spikes around his head were reminiscent of the raven locks he used to sport, the sharp protruding fangs were just longer, more deadly versions of his human ones and those eyes, fuck, they still held the same sparkling blue that Leon once fell in love with. They seemed to shine brighter though, contrasting against all the shadowy black and catching the light in a way he hadn’t seen before. It was hypnotising.

Leon shifted again, carefully moving his hand towards the beast. _Always reaching, always longing_. He shuddered when his skin touched the smooth black scales, tracing the ridges and patterns on Raihan’s snout. He was menacing, absolutely terrifying and probably someone’s worst nightmare, the Champion knew that. Dragons were meant to be intimidating and vile, spreading hate and disaster in their stead, but here, right now, he couldn’t see it.

He was caught up in the majestic beauty, the grace of his movements and slight flutter of his eyes when Leon started to pet him. He began to laugh when Raihan purred, perfectly content as they were lead back into their own little world where titles and monsters didn’t matter. A place where they were just the two boys that met so many years ago, where his lover hadn’t disappeared into the night and where the purple-haired hadn’t fallen apart, unable to deal with the loss.

Leon laughed softly as he scratched the tip of Raihan’s snout, bright blue lazily tracking his movements. “You’re just like an overgrown cat, you know?” He smiled, not really expecting an answer. It was nice, the quiet, almost comforting. He was reminded of lazy mornings in their tent, their safe haven, cuddling and giggling, speaking in hushed voices just because they could. Sadness and fondness swirled together in his stomach, growing, pulling, swelling in his chest. Leon didn’t mind this time though.

Raihan closed his eyes, hiding the bright blue behind thick scaly eyelids. _“Just missed you, that’s all.”_ The voice boomed through his head once again, it was easy to pick up on the lingering sadness in his statement as he moved his head into the human’s lap. _“I thought you moved on, you know. Felt like I was stuck here for ages, just waiting for you to show up… and you never did.”_ Leon bit down on his lip as he watched the dragon intently. A part of him wondered if Raihan had wept for him like he had. He wondered what Dragon tears looked like, if they were even a thing.

 _“I waited and waited, stuck in these walls. So many people came by. They all tried to kill me,”_ a chuff, a supposed chuckle. _“felt like old times, y’know?”_

Leon snorted in response, still tracing the scales with his fingers. Leave it to his boyfriend to make jokes in a time like this.

 _“I didn’t kill them though,”_ Raihan clarified before he could even think to ask, _“they- most of them were unprepared, unexperienced, they’d get lost or starve out there. I could hear them cry out for their families. Others, the more reckless one, got caught under the caving walls. Hammerlocke’s still settling, my presence probably didn’t help this place.”_ There was a certain kind of sadness in those bright blue eyes as they met golden honey. _“I wanted to help them, I didn’t want them to die but, I couldn’t- I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t risk missing you.”_

Silence.

Raihan was looking into his soul, as patient as ever. Leon knew what he had to do.

“After you left-” he started, quickly correcting himself, “no. After you disappeared, I was a mess. I was so angry and sad and-” his voice broke, an awkward laugh escaped his throat as he used his free hand to wipe the upcoming tears away, “I didn’t want to live without you. I couldn’t live without you.” He confessed, avoiding the Dragon’s eyes. He wasn’t ready to see the possible disappointment. “I was a fucking mess, Rai, it was pathetic. Rose kept sending me away to fight all these monsters and I didn’t even get the time to process what was going on. I lost you and everyone just expected me to move on like nothing happened,” he was rambling now. The other let him, carefully watching him.

“I was miserable without you. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t do anything, but I had to go one. I had to fulfil my Champion duties,” Leon let out a bitter laugh, “I haven’t visited Postwick, couldn’t stand the thought of being there without you…”

_“Leon-”_

He shook his head. “No, just, let me finish, okay?”

Raihan let out a pained grunt, not sounding entirely convinced. A warm gentle breeze was blowing against the man, toying with the purple locks for a moment before it disappeared again.

“I’m not okay.” He breathed out quietly as he pulled his hand away. It hovered in the air between them before it fell limp in his lap. The tears fell down his face in a steady stream. “I haven’t been in a while and last night- I just, I wanted it to be over, okay?”

 _“Leon,”_ Raihan nudged his snout against his hands, forcing the scales themselves under the calloused pads of his fingers.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, “I’m so, so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aah, I'm so glad people like this! Thank you for the nice comments <3  
> Work is kicking my butt, but I'll hopefully finish this in the next week!


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave anyone hanging for 7 months... oops!

Leon had thought they were gonna be alright. After their initial talk, he figured that they could start looking for a way to reverse whatever spell Raihan was under. Magic was fickle but its effects were rarely permanent. If they could find a cure, everything could go back to normal, back to how things used to be. They could just pick up from were they left off and pretend nothing happened, that Raihan didn’t turn into a dragon and that Leon wasn’t a miserable mess without his lover.

And if anyone would be able to find a cure to such a big transformation spell, it would be the Champion and his trusted companion. So, they would be fine, right?

Turned out, they wouldn’t and Leon was very, very wrong in his assumptions because he hadn’t taken Raihan into account.

Because Raihan had always been an enigma. A Rogue with twisted morals, ruggedly handsome looks and a smile to die for. He was a walking question mark for the world, a contradiction that only lived to spite to higher classes and most definitely an _unusual_ pick as the Champion’s companion. The people didn’t know or understand Raihan like Leon had and therefore, they distrusted him. 

Leon, who had grown up with the handsome man and consequently knew him like the back of his hand, had never really understood that sentiment. The Raihan he knew was kind and gentle, ferocious in battle but always fair. There wasn’t a malicious bone in the Rogue’s body and Leon knew that to be true. 

It was why the duo worked so well together, they were constantly pushing each other to new extremes and they knew how to pull each other back if they ever were to go too far. 

But now, after a week spent at the Dragon’s castle, Leon wasn’t sure what he knew. Dragon Raihan wasn’t the same as the boy he grew up with. Dragon Raihan didn’t show the vulnerability that he got used to over the years. Dragon Raihan didn’t have the endless patience that used to infuriate Leon to no end. 

No, the Dragon was distant and snappy, often giving Leon a cold shoulder whenever he tried to bring up anything out of their past. He was paranoid, patrolling the area around the castle and setting the outskirts on fire to keep intruders away. Sometimes, he would catch the Dragon staring at him with an unexplainable hunger when the beast thought Leon wasn’t looking. It was weird and unsettling and for the first time in his life, those icy blue eyes didn’t offer him any comfort. 

But still, Leon couldn’t find it in himself to leave Hammerlocke. He couldn’t leave the beast behind.

Not when those hungry gazes turned softer in the moonlight, not when they started to exchange dumb puns instead of talking, not when Leon saw glimpses of the old Raihan, _his Raihan._

Those moments kept him bound to the Dragon and his castle, they chained him with the promise of the fleeting happiness he hadn’t felt in so long. It was easy to pretend everything was fine in those moments. Leon could picture them back in their camp, whispering sweet nothings to each other until the other gave in. Those glimpses reminded him of stolen kisses, broken promises and heated nights spent under the stars. It brought back the memories of smouldering bonfires, burned curries and mischievous smirks that tended to leave Leon in a flustered mess. 

But at the end of the day, that was all that was left, hints and reminders of a shared past that passed them by. It hung heavy in the air between them, an unspoken realisation neither was willing to deal with and Leon hated it. He absolutely fucking hated it, he hated that he finally found his missing piece, only to turn and find that fate had changed the entire game. 

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

_ Hushed whispers, the faint smell of home, a dull ache in his chest. He caught the first rays of sunshine filtering through the hastily pulled curtains in his childhood bedroom as he wearily opened his eyes. He could barely make out the voices floating through the house, let alone hear what they were saying.  _

_ Raihan was gone. _

_ He curled into himself, pulling the soft blankets tighter around his frame. The voices moved away, and although everything sounded like he was under water, Leon instinctively knew they moved towards the kitchen where he wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop. Like he had the energy to listen to anything right now… _

_ Raihan was _ gone. 

_ They had been searching the woods ever since Leon’s little public meltdown. His memory was hazy and very uncooperative. How many days had it been since he came home? Surely the news of his inexcusable behaviour would have reached the Archduke by now, so why was he still here? Why had nobody showed up to bring him back to Wyndon? _

_ Raihan was gone… _

_ … and he was going to have to face the wrath of the Archduke alone. There would be no crooked smiles to return to after the inevitable talk, no quiet laughs in the background or any snide comments that would distract him from the harsh words. Leon wondered what his punishment would involve, breaking down in public like that. No doubt that this would affect his status as the ‘Unbeatable Champion’ and no doubt that the Archduke would be absolutely furious with Leon’s behaviour.  _

Raihan would have been so proud. 

_ A choked sob left his throat, Leon shoved his face back in his pillow to smother the pathetic sounds of crying, to hide his utter uselessness to world. Maybe if he tried hard enough, the Gods would take pity on him and bring him back to Raihan.  _

_ But he was gone and he wouldn’t come back. Not anymore. Not ever.  _

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Leon asked, sitting down on top of a makeshift mattress. His body was still littered with healing cuts and the yellowish purples of old bruising, but the soreness in his aching muscles had dissipated for the most part and he didn’t limp anymore whenever he tried to walk.

The Dragon was laying across from him, keeping a solid distance between the pair as the icy blue irises watched Leon’s every move. The Champion didn’t really mind, he had grown used to the watchful eyes over the past days, but he had grown tired of all the non-answers. 

“You said we would talk,” he tried again when it become obvious that a soft grunt was the only answer he was going to get. “you said you missed me, that you wanted me to show up. Well, I’m here now. So talk, or I’m leaving.” Leon hated how weak his voice sounded, hated the way his voice broke halfway through his threat. 

He was pretty sure Raihan knew it wasn’t that serious, but it didn’t stop him from worrying that the Dragon might agree. The beast wasn’t the same man he knew after all and Leon knew that he was just a general nuisance to everyone around him. 

A moment passed, Leon couldn’t hear a thing except from his own breathing. The eery quiet was slowly taking over the Hammerlocke settlement as molten gold stared into freezing blues. The silence was deafening, wrapping itself around Leon like an overgrown snake desperate to squeeze the life out of the violet haired man. Yet he still refused to move or make a sound. The Champion stood proudly, unwavering under the glare of the man he once loved so much and the beast that took his place. 

Raihan would understand the challenge, the relentless stubborn pride that Leon carried with him everywhere he went. If he ever loved him, truly _loved_ him, he would take this for what it was and he would face the man head on. Something burned brightly in his chest as Leon watched the beast, checking for any sign, any hint, that he would take the bait. 

The Dragon chuffed, turning his head in another direction as smoke billowed from the corners of his mouth. Thick scaly eyelids drooped shut in Raihan’s own childish display of stubbornness. 

He missed the way Leon’s shoulders dropped.

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

_ “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go back, Lee.” Hop’s eyes were filled with worry, his fingers were pulling on the loose threads from his tunic.  _

_ “I can’t stay here forever. The people need me.” Leon’s voice was hoarser than he had excepted and he inwardly cursed himself out as he shoved another shirt in his bag. He was blindly grabbing the clothes strewn around his bedroom as his little brother nervously gnawed on his thumb, still standing halfway in the door opening.   
“The people can wait,” Hop tried to reason, “you’ve given them everything, you should take time to process this stuff, to properly m-” _

_ The older was quick to interrupt him, not wanting to hear the words spoken out loud. “They can’t. Someone has to protect them from the gods and I’m not losing my title to someone else.” Not to someone else who isn’t Raihan, at least. Leon added mentally.  _

_ “You can’t go without telling mom!” his younger brother sighed, changing tactics. The elder had always been immune to logic after all and it was common knowledge that Leon had a soft spot for his family.  _

_ “I told her two days ago, she knows.”  _

_ Confusion flashed over Hop’s face as he watched him struggle with some clothes that were obviously Raihan’s. Leon wondered if the younger knew, but the numbness in his chest prevented him from really caring or asking him out loud.  _

_ “Two days ago…? The funeral was yesterday?” Leon didn’t bother to meet his eyes, keeping his hands busy. “…you weren’t gonna tell me.” The younger concluded with a bitter laugh. “You were just gonna leave like dad.” Hop followed with an accusatory tone in his voice. A cold glare was send his way.  _

_ “Don’t say that.”  
“For fuck’s sake-”  
“Don’t say that.” Leon interrupted him again. There was an edge to his voice as the brothers stared each other down.  _

_ “Fuck you. I heard you cuss loads, don’t act all high and mighty with me. I’m worried about you, Lee. You’re just running away to Wyndon so you can avoid dealing with this shit. I know about you and Rai-“ _

_ “Don’t say that!” He yelled back, not wanting to hear the words as tears stung behind his eyes. Raihan was gone, he wasn’t coming back. Sitting in his old childhood bedroom wasn’t going to fix anything. _

_ “I’ll say it until you get it through that thick skull of yours!” Hop yelled back angrily, matching his brother’s ferocity. Leon had never seen his younger brother so angry, had never witnessed the twisted snarl on the teenager’s face. It didn’t suit him. Hop was made curiosity and happiness, always bouncing around the place with his endless enthusiasm. It had only been a few weeks, yet Leon had already pushed his family so far it seemed.   
He hadn’t been able to protect Raihan, he hadn’t been able keep his emotions in check and now, he wasn’t even able to act like an older brother.  _

_ “You’re gonna burn yourself out if you go back to Wyndon like this, even I know that.” Hop didn’t hesitate to continue with his brutal honesty, “the people dealt without a solid Champion for years before you came along, they’ll survive a few months without you.” _

_ Leon swallowed, shoving the last articles of clothing in his bag. He didn’t see the youthful honey eyes that followed his every movement, didn’t notice the frustrated frown that settled on his brother’s face. _

_ He glanced at his old bedroom before he wordlessly pushed Hop out of the doorway, making his way outside. The sound of frantic footsteps followed him as Leon started to pack his horse for the journey back to the capital.  _

_ “Leon, don’t go.” he still heard that edge of desperation and disappointment in his brother’s voice. A shitty boyfriend, a shitty Champion and now, even a shitty brother. Leon shouldn’t have been that surprised.  _

_ “Leon!” _

_ He quietly climbed his horse, not bothering with their usual goodbye hug and the promise of returning soon. The reins hung slack in his hands, Char was patiently waiting for him to make a decision. Leon’s thoughts were hazy as the numbness slowly spread through his body. _

_ “I won’t forgive you if you leave like this.” Hop’s voice was thick with emotion and maybe Leon would have seen tears running down his cheeks if he had the guts to look. He would never know for sure. “Don’t do this.” he pleaded.  _

_ There was no answer, just the pull of the reins, a frustrated shout and a dust cloud left in Leon’s stead as he made his way back to Wyndon, away from this nightmare.  _

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

Leon was seated back on the top of the tower, legs dangling above the abyss, eyes focused on the tiny silver dots that decorated the night sky. The moon hadn’t bothered to show tonight and neither had the Dragon. The beast had flown out earlier today, leaving Leon alone and lonely within the empty castle walls. 

Icy winds swept around him, cutting into bared skin and leaving the tips of his fingers numb.

Raihan had told him that he was free to leave whenever he desired. The beast had made sure that Leon wasn’t a prisoner of these walls, that Leon was aware that he wasn’t something the Dragon took interest in. He was still just a nuisance, a sack of meat and bones that inconvenienced everyone around him. 

The internal numbness had dissipated when Leon realised that Raihan was alive, that he was still here, but it had returned with vigour ever since his last confrontation with his ex-lover.   
Raihan didn’t care for him anymore. He didn’t want him anymore. Why would he? Raihan was a Dragon, a fire breathing monster that ran on chaos and spite, he didn’t have a need for a clumsy wannabe Champion with his newfound strength. 

But Leon didn’t want to leave. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he could. Raihan had been his rock, his world, his everything since they met. He barely scraped by after Raihan’s ‘death’ and now he was supposed to just… walk away? Leon didn’t want to do that, he couldn’t. 

Death wasn’t an option either, no matter how much the voice in the back of his head encouraged him to go for it, to just jump and end it all. It wouldn’t fix anything and if anyone would ever find his body, they would most likely blame Raihan for it. Leon had ruined enough, he wouldn’t be another reason to kill the Dragon. 

He sighed, looking up to the twinkling stars. The fates never bothered to spare Leon from misery, so why would they start now? Life wasn’t easy, dragons weren’t easy, so why had he expected a clear solution? Was he really naive enough to think that having Raihan back by his side would be the cure all to his problems?

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

_ Two boys, hands clasped together, unsure grins plastered on their faces. Unruly purple locks were tied back into a messy ponytail, golden eyes were focused on the taller boy that lead their way. Every once in a while he would lock back over his shoulder, grinning widely at the younger, ensuring him that they were getting closer. A small blade hung from the taller’s belt, gently swinging with their movements. Leon was mesmerised. _

_ “You’ll love this place, I promise!” Raihan’s bashful smile shone onto him once again, tiny canines poking out. “It’ll be worth the wait,” he promised, tightening his grip. Leon knew it probably wasn’t true, but he didn’t really care either way. _

_ Ever since they met, Raihan had been dragging him all over the place to show the younger things he thought were cool or pretty. Sometimes it was just to find a seclude space for the two to practice sparring or to enjoy the last few rays of the summer sun. Leon didn’t mind, as long as he got Raihan’s undivided attention he would follow the raven-haired boy wherever he went. The happy lopsided grin that was plastered on his best friend’s face was worth all the hassle he put the duo through.  _

_ “I found it last weeks, after I left yours,” Raihan continued to hype up his new find as he pulled them through prickly bushes. Both boys were covered in light scratches as they broke through the thick forrest into a quiet clearing.  _

_ A serene atmosphere surrounded them as Leon took a moment to observe his surroundings. Raihan kept giving him nervous side glances, eagerly awaiting for the younger’s approval. “Well?” _

_ The smaller boy brushed his purple fringe to the side, a tiny smile playing around his lips as he tilted his head upwards. “You were right, I love it.”  _

_ Raihan’s grin grew impossibly wider before they spent the whole day by the edge of the hidden lake, laughing and playing, tiptoeing around the lines of their friendship.  _

∘∘∘☽ ∘∘∘

“ _Wake up._ ” 

A familiar voice boomed through Leon’s head, making its way into his dreams and demanding his full attention. He murmured, pulling the heavy cape over his sleeping body as he tried to turn away from the cool pressure against his shin. The cold didn’t seem too keen on his unwillingness to return to the world of the living however, immediately returning to his side. 

“ _C’mon, get up! We have shit to do today_ ,” the voice spoke again, forcing the warm comforting weight off Leon before it continued. “ _I wanna show you something_.”

“Five more minutes,” the sleepy Champion tried, curling back into himself as he tried to push the lingering sense of déjà vu away from him. A loud grumbling shook the fallen castle. Leon could feel it in his bones. “Fuck you.” he mustered weakly, groggily sitting up and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. 

The Dragon’s head was hovering above his body, weakly but impatiently pushing his snout into Leon’s side. Icy blue eyes filled with curiosity and something else were watching his every move. “Where are we going?”

“ _It’s a secret_.” The Dragon somehow managed to push Leon onto his feet, look far too smug and far too pleased with himself not to resemble Raihan. Leon’s stomach churned in response and soon he felt the all too familiar ache in his lungs.

“Right…” he sighed and looked away from the other, his mind quickly supplying him with images of how human Raihan would have looked right now. A mischievous lopsided smirk, hands comfortable resting on his hips as he towered above Leon with the promise of adventure in his eyes. _Fuck_.

“This better not be shit.” He sighed again, pushing the melancholy down before giving the Dragon one of his Champion smiles. The beast didn’t give a verbal response, just nodding and swishing his tail with newfound excitement as he waited for the man to change into his day clothes.

When Leon was ready, Raihan positioned him between the dull spikes on the back of his head, quickly telling him where to grip before the Dragon took off to the sky.

It was a flurry of black wings, glistening scales and endless blue skies. The Dragon chirped happily as they soared through the skies. The early sunlight reflected on his scales, painting him in cool jewel tones that took Leon's breath away. For a second, he was reminded how utterly majestic and beautifully terrifying Raihan was. For a second, he could feel the knot in his stomach loosen a little as they climbed to dazzling heights, only to look down.

The Champion screamed as he saw how they quickly gained height, clinging to the spikes like his life depended on it. Raihan let out another rumble, obviously laughing at his dramatic antics. “You asshole.” He groaned against the warm scales as he hid his face. Even then, he made sure to keep his eyes closed, too afraid to look down. He was sure his words were gone with the loud winds. There was no way Raihan would have heard his disgruntled mumbling, but another roar proved otherwise. _Well, fuck me_ , Leon sighed internally as the freezing winds bit into his skin.

He still didn’t know where they were heading off to. If they were on the ground, he would have kind of known where they were going by the general landmarks. Raihan must have taken that into account when he slung him on his back, because even if Leon would have dared to look down, everything would have been way too tiny to make out. The landmass underneath was just a mix of varying shades of brown and green, surrounded by waves of blue. 

Were they heading North or South? Would they be close to his family? His heart ached again at the thought of Hop and his mum. He had lost of the days since he stepped foot into the desert. They must be worried about him, or maybe they were already mourning him. Fuck. _Fuck_.

_ “Relax Leon, I'm not gonna drop you from the sky,” _ Raihan interrupted him before Leon's mind even had the chance to worry about that possibility. Had he noticed his anxious shifting? Did he really think that Leon would be worried about that? What if it was just another one of his tricks? What if Leon somehow got on the Dragon's bad side? What if he was suddenly the target of his scheming and- _“I’ve been scouting this place out, needed to make sure there weren’t any monster hunters out, y'know?”_

Leon swallowed as he tightened his grip, knuckles turning white from his force as he tried his best to analyse the words. Was that the Dragon or Raihan talking? Why would he go through the effort of making sure there weren’t any witnesses around? He really had gotten on the Dragon's bad side, oh gods. What in the Gods’ name was he planning to do to Leon?

He had one last thought before the Dragon started their descend: he should have left when he had the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this chapter for months but it never came out right and I still kinda hate it. That combined with general mental health, a shitty job and just starting university left me in a really bad place to write.
> 
> However! I'm hoping to finish this story within the year. Chapter 4 will come out either this week or somewhere in December (depending on whether I can get it to 'work') and that will finish the whole story off.   
> Chapter 5 will either be added as an epilogue or it will be posted separately because it has a different tone the the main story.   
> What would you guys prefer, assuming anyone is still reading this lol.


End file.
